First this is a formal apology for the delay in a post... Now to the
goods.
The next week Kristen was really proud of herself and I was a bit
ashamed. She listened to Steve and had been doing great with Dick (no
pun intended) while I found myself forgetting the first homework
assignment before I began. I met Bobby through a friend. At first
meeting I was completely uninterested, but as frequently happens... I
was swayed by a good reputation and a positive recommendation...
always the bait and switch. A girl can go from ambivalent to overly
curious in moments. But Bobby did have himself a great reputation and
had a lot more going for him than some of my more recent suitors. He also had many of the qualities that I, in my strange taste, find appealing: taller, socially awkward, reserved and the other things that I should not be drawn to in and of themselves... All of this together had me reading into simple text messages, chastising myself for things I'd said on our dates (two in the first week!) and interrogating the friend that set us up.
All the while Kristen remained calm, cool and collected talking with ease about the great
baseball game she and Dick went to and dinner dates they enjoyed. On
top of that Dick was a perfect gentleman. Kristen had gone over to his
place and when "situations" were progressing, Dick had been the one to
put on the brakes and suggest going a bit slower. He was great.
That week we met with Steve and I confessed my failure to comply with
his assignment and my struggles. Kristen was able to share her
perseverance an how positive it seemed to be playing out. After
sharing with Steve about Bobby he again suggested I calm down. He
confirmed Bobby was a really nice guy that had genuine interest. He
wouldn't be confirming the next date or seeing me more than once in a
week if he wasn't.
Still wanting to confirm that I hadn't done anything vile yet, I
requested Steve to share some absolute no-no's for first dates. He
obliged with the following:
"The things that scares guys
(and note many guys wake up like I'm going to find my wife)
Worst ever? Talk about other men is a red flag to men and second is two
fold...
Talking about your negative professional life Or talking too much
about how well you're doing." Guys don't want to see you being a
negative Nancy but also are hard wired to be uncomfortable with a
woman doing very well in their career. It's intimidating and guys
always want to feel more secure and confident in their work than the
lady in their life is. I was soothed for the moment since i hadn't
done these things and forced myself to relax. Kristen gave Steve her
updates beaming over Dick's chivalry. Steve didn't seem quite as
impressed. He was pleased that Dick was being nice but found it
mysterious that a guy would put on the brakes when he had access to the
gas pedal... Steve assessed that perhaps Dick was shy and lacked
confidence so maybe Kristen should take the reins at the next
opportunity just to see what happens.
In print this is all so easy but it never plays out that way...
